Funniest thing you read today

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Ethos's picture
Ethos
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Jan 16 2013 20:59

There's another capitalist dystopia in the works.
Check out what the report says about private-property and funding in this one.

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Jan 19 2013 11:07

and he recently has plagiarized published a dystopian novel: http://www.splcenter.org/blog/2012/11/27/in-new-novel-glenn-beck-warns-of-squirrel-worshipping-socialists/

Quote:
In this world, human life has no value: squirrels run free and are feted with the ever-diminished crop yields, while humans are interned in highly regulated compounds (FEMA camps, anyone?) and must work endless hours, sustaining themselves only on tasteless “nourishment cubes.
Agent not available
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Jan 20 2013 19:17

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/apr/15/aliciakeys.urban

Celebrity anarchism: Alicia Keys

[Its a bit old news though.]

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Feb 1 2013 09:54

the new WW's title page, featuring the SWP's emperor

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Feb 8 2013 12:24

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/feb/06/michael-gove-gramsci-misses-point

Quote:
Gove started with a statement of sympathy for Jade Goody and the way in which she was an object of derision for her general lack of knowledge. Of course he then promptly blames the comprehensive education system for her failings, claiming that if only she had been taught "properly" then she wouldn't have been so stupid. Using Gramsci he maintains that a proper grounding in the basics is missing from the structures of contemporary education and that this lack is failing working class children.
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Feb 11 2013 11:29

http://www.anarchy.no/external.html (at the bottom [sic!])

Quote:
12. The satanists' "satanic power", "magical formulæ", "number magic", are just confused fantasies, and of course in no way influence our policy - as we don't believe in such 'psychological' and 'hypnotic' humbug. However although fantasy, based on pure superstition, it may affect the actions of people that believe in such nonsens via psychological ruling, similar to wich-doctors and woo-doo priests, i.e. an authoritarian tendency. Thus, as mentioned, anarchists take a clear stand against satanism in real terms of all forms and shapes
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Feb 15 2013 12:53

http://spartacist.org/english/wv/1017/3ls.html

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Mar 3 2013 13:08

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Mar 3 2013 21:59

Not funny 'ha-ha' I suppose
http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2013/02/five-weirdest-things-daily-mails-profile-michael-gove

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Mar 5 2013 15:44

http://cpgb.org.uk/assets/files/resources/special-conference-bulletin.pdf p.8, from the SWP's CC:

Quote:
We welcome debate. We face a number of serious political challenges in the months ahead that will necessitate further discussion, and if the level of struggle rises, as we hope it will, we will need a lot more. But over the specific issues arising from the recent disputes committee, we feel that the special conference must mark the end of a period in which that debate has consumed most of the party’s attention.
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Mar 15 2013 10:52

Ethos's picture
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Mar 16 2013 01:03

I know this is supposed to be funniest thing "read", but this made me laugh.

Entdinglichung's picture
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Mar 20 2013 09:40

oh no, it isn't funny

Quote:
In the 20th Century, the two social movements that harassed shopkeepers to distraction were the mafia in the USA and the German national socialists, but now the perverse anarchists of the AF seem to have taken a leaf out of their book.
Quote:
Simon Danczuk from Rochdale with his Cyril Smith revelations, Andy Newman from Swindon in highlighting the SWP's misdemeanours, and Barry Woodling in affirming the rights of a free press, are all fighting on the side of political decency
laborbund's picture
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Mar 26 2013 20:25
Ethos wrote:
...but this made me laugh.

I couldn't even watch that beyond the first 20 or so seconds. It was hilarious but also seriously cringe inducing.

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Mar 29 2013 17:00
laborbund wrote:
Ethos wrote:
...but this made me laugh.

I couldn't even watch that beyond the first 20 or so seconds. It was hilarious but also seriously cringe inducing.

In all honesty, the first time I watched I couldn't believe what I heard. Then I thought, "He's probably fucking around. By tomorrow it'll be established that he's an up and coming comedian", but no it turns out that he has a "white student union" at his university and everything.

In keeping with the theme of "Members of major right-wing party in the U.S. say the darndest things", here's the latest.

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/03/29/1793271/don-young-latino-wetbacks/

wojtek
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Apr 3 2013 09:42

http://i.imgur.com/rx2Kt.png

petey
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Apr 4 2013 21:04
Ethos wrote:
In keeping with the theme of "Members of major right-wing party in the U.S. say the darndest things", here's the latest.

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/03/29/1793271/don-young-latino-wetbacks/

the latest in a very long line. it's the local republican parties where you get the choicest loony.

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Apr 12 2014 15:11

I thought this thread was locked last I checked. Oh well, continuing on with the funnies:

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/apr/10/italy-hotel-antonio-gramsci

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Apr 12 2014 15:45

I have brought it BACK FROM THE DEAD

Workerist
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Apr 12 2014 15:54

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWqpojSj1CA

i would feel more educated after watching an episode of teletubbies....

omen
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Apr 12 2014 17:32
Steven. wrote:
I have brought it BACK FROM THE DEAD

And you know what to do when something comes back from the dead: shoot it in the head! (Unless you're a doctor, in which case: well done!)

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Apr 12 2014 19:59
Steven. wrote:
I have brought it BACK FROM THE DEAD

so you're God and this thread is Jesus?

snipfool
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Apr 12 2014 20:54
Entdinglichung wrote:
Steven. wrote:
I have brought it BACK FROM THE DEAD

so you're God and this thread is Jesus?

I'm the Father, Steven's the Holy Spirit?
Or maybe I'm Mary.
This is meant to happen next weekend.

I'm stopping this now.

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Apr 12 2014 22:40

Reading is for nerds

boomerang
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Apr 13 2014 04:27
Railyon wrote:
Just stumbled across this:
http://www.messagesfromspiritworld.info/MoreMessages/Communist/Communist%20Leaders5.html

What is this, I don't even. Was looking for stuff by Kozo Uno and what I get is this? Internet is trolling me

IT GETS BETTER!!!!!

http://www.messagesfromspiritworld.info/MoreMessages/Communist/Communist%20Leaders2.html#998436

Karl Marx wrote:
Karl Marx
...
I attended here to confirm that I, Marx, affirm God's existence and that He is the Parent of all humankind. I denied God and shouted loudly with confidence to the extent that people believed me more than God. Now I'd like to reveal my experience with God to the whole world. I met Dr. Lee for the first time in the spirit world and was very attracted by having several talks about theory with him.

I felt that my theoretical paradigm was crumbling as I listened to his Godism lecture. At the same time my pride was damaged severely. When I listened to Godism, I thought it was a dream, but it was not. Then a beam of light came into my heart like a red-hot bullet. After moving through the air with the light, I came to see a miserable scene. I thought it likely that I was in Hell. Then I heard a voice saying, `Look at that. The poor children of God are groaning here. Save them. Be responsible for them. God is the Parent of all human beings.'

My whole body was covered with sweat, as if it had been raining. I saw a very miserable scene. My chest was choking and was in such pain that I couldn't stand it. I told Dr. Lee what I experienced. Dr. Lee said, `That's your responsibility. Think it over. After my experience of God's light, I have felt God always with me. Dr. Lee opened a new theoretical perspective to me.

All the thinkers in this cosmos! I, Marx, have met God. I have found that He is the Parent of humankind. I have felt the greatness of God's love. I clearly convey to you who God is. He is the Parent of humankind. Reverend Sun Myung Moon, who is on the Earth, brought this fact to light. The Divine Principle and Unification Thought express the original standards that open the way to salvation, so you must read them. I ask this of you seriously. I clearly say that I apologize for my past to God and True Parents and love them and am proud of them.

Marx, April 18, 2002.

Fleur
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Apr 14 2014 17:26

I'm not so sure if this is the funniest thing I read today or an off-broadway rendition of my very own personal hell.

The Anthem - A radical New Musical.
All singing and all dancing, based on a novella by Ayn Rand, brought to us by the same man who made Brave New World - The Musical.
http://www.bestofoffbroadway.com/world-premiere-anthem-radical-new-musical-begins-may-20-lynn-redgrave-theatre/

Mark.
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Apr 14 2014 18:06

New Age bullshit generator

iexist
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Apr 14 2014 20:27

http://fdiv.net/2012/04/01/objectivist-c

iexist
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Apr 14 2014 20:31

Corporate bullshit generator.

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Apr 14 2014 20:35

(Caliban at Sunset

I stood with a man
Watching the sun go down.
The air was full of murmurous summer scents
And a brave breeze sang like a bugle
From a sky that smouldered in the west,
A sky of crimson, amethyst, gold and sepia
And blue as blue were the eyes of Helen
When she sat
Gazing from some high tower in Ilium
Upon the Grecian tents darkling below.
And he,
This man who stood beside me,
Gaped like some dull, half-witted animal
And said,
"I say,
Doesn't that sunset remind you
Of a slice
Of underdone roast beef?"
-- P G Wodehouse